I had planned on writing a new post last Wednesday following our last Pride Training session.... But it's been a little busy around here.

So last Wednesday, we discussed the importance of keeping Bio Families involved in the children's lives. 'Bio' is short for biological. We wrote out plans for ourselves entitled a "permanence plan" they asked us questions like 'what do you plan on doing tomorrow?', 'who do you plan on having with you tomorrow?' 'what do you want to be doing in one year, and who would you like have with you?' and then they ask similar questions for 5 years from now. Next, 2 people were selected from the class and the trainer came over to each of them and ripped their papers up and stomped on them. Wow. It helps to put things in perspective, obviously they were just papers, and we could have a bit of a laugh about it in the class, but the point came across loud and clear. We all have plans, and ideas and dreams for our future. When a child goes into care, some of the things we all take for granted, like waking up to see your parents or your siblings every morning, going to sleep in your owned bed each night. Having YOUR home to come back to after school each day. That all gets taken away, some for a while and some permanently.

We are given homework after our classes each week. Last week our homework was to complete a family tree. We are to try and included as much information as possible about our family members. It's another reminder that children who become crown ward have very little if any information about their family, health history, and so on. It's been fun for me to get a chance to do this. I am blessed to have a close knit family, in which I get a lot of love and support. I hope to be able to bring children into our home and show them love and support, even though they maybe going through a difficult transition period in their lives.

Last night was our first meeting. We followed a bunch of people down a different long hallway then last time and headed into a room with great big white binders on the desks. We got to know the other couples through some ice breaker games, which is so not my thing, but it was actually not to bad. We were there for just over 3 hours.

We were given homework assignments, a little bit of reading and a form to fill out with questions about 'so far is it what you expected?'. I worked on my homework today, trying to make sure I am being diligent and responsible about this. Unlike high school when my homework was rarely done...oops! In reading I was amazed! Absolutely disgusted actually (and that's an under statement!) did you know that back in 1875 animals had more rights and protection then children! And that same year children ended up being under the 'humane society's umbrella! It started because of a little girl named Mary Ellen, who was being abused by her care taker. When a voluntary worker in her area became aware of the abuse and tried to have the little girl protected, but no one could do anything. The police and voluntary agencies had no grounds to help the poor girl. So the worker went to a man named Henry Bergh. He was the president of the New York Society for the prevention of cruelty to animals. She argued that Mary Ellen was 'a member the animal kingdom and should be afforded the protection given to animals'. ouch! This makes me so sad. There is a whole bunch more, but it would take me all night to write out the points that's blew me away.

As I mentioned before, this journey started because of my desire to adopt, and never to foster. I am realizing how selfish I was in my way of thinking. I wanted to be able to bring a child into my home with no strings attached. I wanted an infant to raise up as my own, and please don't get me wrong. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. But I am starting to see how things are suppose to be a little different for my family.

 I am understanding the importance of reuniting children with their biological families when it is healthy to do so, and how to assist in that process. I still have a STRONG desire to adopt and hope for that some day. But I look forward to being touched by the lives we will have a chance to bring in even for a little while. No I don't think it is going to be easy, and I understand with that comes challenges, heartache and probably some tears. I believe God will make away though.

I so badly want other people to know the truths and realities about topics like foster care, and even abortion. I had the chance to Watch a pretty amazing video last night ( http://youtube/7y2KsU_dhwI ) and I believe after watching this that a lot of people make decisions and take a stand for things that they just do not know much about. I recently heard Abby Johnsons story on the radio and it really struck me. If you are considering abortion please, please, please consider other avenues and do your research.

Below I have posted a link to Abbys Page, please take the time to check it out. It's a pretty amazing story.
http://www.abbyjohnson.org

So its Monday. The day I have been waiting for. I worked night sleep last night, which ended up being a night awake. I thought about coming home and sleeping for a bit, but I just couldn't. I could not wait for 1pm to roll around! We kept busy in the am. Played on the floor with the kids most of the morning then N and I headed out for a bit. We came home just in time for lunch. Right as we were finishing up lunch the phone rang. This was it.... "hello" Brandon answered. I helped N finish up her lunch and got D cleaned up and ready for his nap. I could hear Brandon answering a bunch of questions about us and our expectations. "well, if you knew my wife you would know that she is up for a challenge. Especially if she feels its something God has called her to do. So if you were to ask me that question I would be a little apprehensive, but my wife, Not at all." wow, wow, wow what was he talking about??? He continued "umm... Well I really wish you knew my wife, she's unlike anyone one you have even met I can guarantee you." I was pleasantly surprised by the words coming out of my husband's mouth, but what in the world were they discussing? And what exactly was he getting me into?!

 Brandon. This is how I would describe my husband... Fun loving, playful, friendly, fairly care free however a little, ok more than a little bit of a worrier... And he's very much what you see is what you get. He speaks his mind which is one of the things I love about him, however it can be a little scary at times too. Turns out they were talking about how many children we would be willing to take in at a time. His answer, 1 maybe 2. My answer up to 4. So we agreed 3 would be a good compromise. They also discussed the maximum age we were willing to take in Brandons answer, 3 maybe 4. My answer, it depends on the situation. Brandon agreed.

Brandon was on the phone for about an hour, he went into detail about our past, losing the babies, how we met, and why we wanted to pursue foster and adoption. They laughed, she cried and I cleaned. I tend to clean when I am nervous, stressed or anxious and my fridge has never looked so white! The verdict? She seemed to like us. We begin our pride training on Wednesday. It will take 9 weeks, we both have to attend each and every one of the meetings. Our home study will be done at the same time meaning we could have a child/children in our care in as little as 9 weeks. Possibly sooner if they approve us as a safe home, and they have a child they feel would be a good fit. In that case we may be approached before our training is complete. I am excited. I am thankful that God has taken us in this direction and I look forward to what he has in store for us on this journey. I understand that things may not always be easy, but as my pastor preached yesterday, with God the impossible is possible and we can do all things through Christ. When I was a little girl my dad used to tell  me that all the time. I remember before heading to bed one night he made  me repeat this to him and he assured me that with Christ's Strength anything was possible. And as James 1:27 says: 'Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress.' So I shall obey!