Even though my blog is entitled 'throwing away my map of life' and I have written about allowing God to take the lead and guide me where he wants me in life... I am a control freak! It's awful!

At the last Pride Training class (last night) I had some questions and was a little confused about somethings. Brandon and I are going through to be Foster AND Adoptive parents, so I assumed our home study would allow for both.

Um... Nope. So here it is, either we go through the foster home study OR the Adoption home study.

Okay, So we will go the adoptive home study route. Well not so fast. If we have the adoption home study completed, then CAS's focus would be on finding the child that would fit perfectly into our family. But we would like to foster children who are not crown ward who will be returning to their parents as well. So then we go with the foster home study? Then what if the child we feel would be a perfect fit for our family comes along and we don't have everything in order? We may lose that child to a family who has already gone through their adoption home study.

And that would be the reason for the first paragraph of this post... Yes yes, if it's meant to be it will be. I know. And I just need to remember God is in control. But....

Ouch. I typed the word and then it hit me. BUT. I know God's in control BUT I want some control?

Honestly I sat here paralyzed for a few moments feeling annoyed with myself. I look at those words and I sound like a spoiled princess. How can I sit here and type to other people about releasing control and how amazing it is to let God lead, when I can't even follow my own advice.

Time to get back on track. I have been so busy lately being mommy, wife, working, volunteering and training that I have forgotten to take time to be a daughter. The daughter to my heavenly Father. So that shall be my goal this week. Taking time. Making the time!